How to Make Life Stop Feeling Like a Grind

The “Grind” Mentality in Modern Society

The notion that we need to push and work extraordinarily hard to achieve our goals, actualize our life purpose, and reach our potential as human beings is deeply entrenched in our societal narrative.

This script is so deeply ingrained into cultural speech that it can go undetected unless we seriously question it, or come face-to-face with it.

Millions of people across the world wear a badge of honor for their 60+ hour work weeks, never taking a day off, and always being on their “grind.”

Don’t get me wrong. Brute, hard work can be necessary at times, especially when it comes to lifting yourself out of a non-ideal life situation.

But life always being this “grind”, coming at the expense of your personal health and well-being, as well as your relationships with loved ones, is not something to idealize.

I came face-to-face with this cultural script after my graduation from college.

Upon graduating, I was elated to finally not be bogged down by school work, because it meant I could finally allocate more energy to my business endeavors of becoming a life coach, making YouTube videos, and writing.

I told numerous people how excited I was to “grind” and work so hard.

And due to a variety of factors, my excitement faded fairly quickly.

I felt burnt out, anxious about whether or not I could make the business work, and depressed at times.

This begged the question: Does success really need to be this hard? Do I really have to “grind” in order to reach my goals?

And I have since gained crystal clarity on my answer to these questions:

Hell fucking no!

I invite you to consider the possibility that you could achieve all of your goals, become financially abundant, and self-actualize without any of it feeling like a grind.

I invite you to consider that the process of realizing the life of your dreams can be mostly effortless.

I also invite you to consider that you can still “work” long hours, but that it contributes to your well-being and satisfaction with life, rather than taking from it.

To understand what I mean by this, we need to understand why people “work hard” and “grind” in the first place.

A Couple Quick Words

Before we get started, let’s get the “news” part of this newsletter out of the way.

The first group of my 8 week coaching program, Spiritual Fitness, is moving along beautifully.

Clients have been progressing, gaining clarity on their life purpose, and cultivating a more mindful, present, and deep awareness in their experience.

Given that my time with them is soon to come to a close, I am opening up to new clients again.

I will be offering the old price ($1000 off the full price) until May 1st, before the price will be raised.

If you are interested, now may be the best and most cost-effective time to join.

You can click this link to learn more about the program.

Now, let’s get into how to create a life that doesn’t feel like a grind.

How Does Life Become a Grind?

One entrenched in Grind Mentality feels:

Reaching their goals is a struggle
Life is an uphill battle
Resistance to the present moment

The reason people grind so hard is because they are not content with their current reality, and are seeking to be elsewhere.

There is a misalignment between one’s lived experience and their desired reality.

And so the “grind” becomes an attempt to bridge this gap between current reality and desired reality.

One may be fueled by the idea that they can “have it all” in the future through working hard, or that after age 65 they can finally “retire” and rest, or that after they achieve this goal or this thing, then they can finally be happy.

In my case, I was fixated on the goal of being able to make an income high enough so I could do my work full-time.

And as a result, I developed a tunnel-like vision on meeting this goal, and ended up neglecting core needs as a result, which only strengthened the resistance towards my vision, which only made life feel more like a grind.

In this, I lost touch with one of the most basic and important truths of existence: Life is about the journey, not the destination. Find peace in the present moment.

You see, most people can intuitively accept these truths, but living it is an entirely different thing.

To live this, the ego’s insatiable urge for more will have to be quieted.

There will have to be a sense of peace and contentment found with the present moment (more on this later).

I want you to hold the possibility in your mind that you can fully accept and be content with the present moment, while still moving towards the vision of your future reality.

The two are not mutually exclusive.

The River Analogy

We can think of one in Grind Mentality as constantly trying to swim upstream, as they are pushing against resistance, “grinding” to get to the perceived destination.

But I am here to tell you that the destination is not actually upstream.

The destination is downstream!

This is great news, because now, to get to your destination all you have to do is stop resisting and align yourself with the flow of the river (the flow of life) to get there.

To align yourself with the flow of life, you will have to stop trying to control every aspect of your experience, and trust in the intelligence of the universe to carry you.

Now, this does not mean you become passive and give up your agency.

Aligning with the flow of life involves cultivating a deeper listening and attunement to ALL of life.

Aligning with the flow of life means honoring the intelligent current that exists WITHIN you!

This means honoring your authentic desires, following your heart, intuition, and deepest wisdom, and taking inspired action from that place.

Really, this is mostly about doing what feels NATURAL and RIGHT to you.

Of course, making this transition from resistance to flow can feel weird or threatening, which may cause us to label it as “unnatural” at first.

But the fact that you are still reading this indicates that you have an intuition that moving from resistance to flow will help you, so I encourage you to follow this impulse and listen to what I have to say.

Another way we can conceptualize aligning with the flow of life is simply by loosening resistance.

There are numerous ways in which we are both consciously and unconsciously in resistance to the natural, intelligent current of reality.

In what lies ahead, I will provide 9 points on how you can loosen resistance and align with the flow of life, so that you can achieve the life you were meant to live without any of it feeling like a grind!

Have a Sense of Purpose & Vision For the Future that EXCITES You!

Excitement is a prerequisite for creating anything beautiful and profound.

You would not exist if your parents were not excited, and thus motivated to create a new life.

You would not be able to reap the benefits of thousands of years of human technological innovation and social progress if people were not excited by the future that the progress would bring.

Excitement is one of the primary frequencies through which the flow of life operates.

It is Nature’s way of beckoning us to partake in the act of creating and shaping this world.

Excitement is so crucial to life that we consider it a disorder when one is unable to experience it (depression).

If you are unable to feel excited by the future, it will be impossible to align with the flow of life.

You will always feel unmotivated, indifferent, and apathetic, and so you will never be able to truly CREATE, which is the fundamental impulse of Life.

One of the most powerful ways to get in touch with excitement is to follow the things that you find yourself naturally curious about.

Whatever makes you think:

“Huh, that’s interesting!”
“I want to know more about that!”
“I’d like to try this!”
“What could this mean?”
“Where did this come from?”

needs to be followed at ALL COSTS.

You see, everyone is born with unique attributes, aptitudes, and interests.

Based on these unique qualities, different curiosities will develop, usually fairly early in childhood.

Life quite literally ingrains into your DNA unique qualities that make you, you.

It could be an interest in the nature of reality, a passion for building things, a fascination for the flora and fauna of the Earth, or a calling to be an artist.

And when you stumble upon the things that are uniquely you, you will feel excited.

Following this excitement is how you discover your unique life purpose within the larger fabric of the world.

In addition to this, it is also essential to be able to envision a positive state that can come about as a result through the efforts of your purpose.

I find author Simon Sinek’s concept of The Infinite Game to be immensely valuable in eliciting excitement about the future.

To start playing the Infinite Game, imagine a future state so great, grand, beautiful, and high, that tears come to your eyes.

Spend hours and days contemplating this future state.

What is this world like? What are the inhabitants of this world like? What do they do with their lives? What is their reason for living? What is the government like? What is the economic structure? How do the citizens feel on a day to day basis? What makes this future better than the current one?

Let your mind run wild with excitement.

And don’t just imagine a future state that could be achieved in your lifetime.

Imagine a future so idealistic, that you could theoretically work forever and still not fully get there.

Progress in an Infinite Game is like getting closer to the end point of an asymptotic curve.

You get infinitely closer to the end, but never actually get there, so you end up playing forever because you love the game so much.

While there are many intricacies to my vision, my vision can basically be summarized by cultivating a species-wide enlightened consciousness through transcending ego structures that have been responsible for war, discrimination, exploitation, and suffering on our planet.

I know damn well this vision won’t come to life in my lifetime, but that’s not the point.

The point is to become an inhabitant of this future state before it even exists, so as to ripple your consciousness (your creative life force) into the collective and inspire others to join in on this Infinite Game.

To sum up this point:

Find the things, activities, and skills that elicit excitement out of you
Tuned into the frequency of excitement, create your Infinite Vision
Continue doing those things, activities, and skills within the larger container of your Infinite Vision

#1 and #2 can also be interchangeable, you could create the Infinite Vision first, and then decide what to do from there!

If you are following these points, you will be tuned into the energy of excitement, and it very well may feel like the universe is CARRYING you through life.

Of course, there are other numerous factors at play when it comes to loosening resistance and making life stop feeling like a grind.

But, I put this point first, because it is the most important, because a life without excitement is a life that always feels like a drag.

2. Have The Basics on Lock

In my case after graduating from college, I knew what activities and unique skills I had that made me feel excited.

I even had the larger Infinite Vision which deeply moved and inspired me.

But I still felt tired, drained, and sometimes depressed.

Why?

Like I said, it was a number of factors, but a huge one was that I was working a restaurant job that often had me awake until the hours of 1-3am.

Other days it would be earlier, but the result was that my sleep schedule became very sporadic.

Without consistent quality sleep, my ability to focus on my work drastically decreased.

In addition, I was eating shitty food working at this restaurant.

I was also smoking an unhealthy amount of weed, which scattered my focus, making work even more difficult.

Allow this to be a reminder that even if you have a strong sense of purpose and a vision that makes you feel excited, you still need to have the basics on lock.

The basics are:

Sleep
Diet
Exercise

All three of these components are absolutely crucial to loosening resistance and aligning with the flow of life.

Without having the basics on lock you will:

have low energy
be in a worse mood
be less sharp cognitively
feel less excited

This dramatically increases the resistance between you and your goals.

Having the basics on lock is mandatory to creating a life that does not feel like a grind.

3. Create a Routine that Honors Your Body’s Natural Rhythms

What made working late hours at the restaurant job so detrimental to my well-being was that I am not a night owl.

While others have no problem staying up till 4 in the morning and sleeping until noon, I have never been that person.

Throughout my entire life, my body automatically wakes up when the sun rises.

I have never used an alarm clock because my body is so automatic with waking up at first light.

Even in the times where I need to get some shut-eye during the day hours because I am so tired, I usually have immense difficulty falling asleep.

And when I do, I almost always experience sleep paralysis, where consciousness awakens but the body stays paralyzed in REM sleep.

It can be pretty scary.

So in leaving this restaurant job, I became committed to living in alignment with my body’s natural rhythms.

As fun as night time creativity and social life can be, I decided to honor myself as a morning person, and design my entire life around waking up at sunrise.

Designing your life around your natural rhythms will look different from person to person, but there are also scientifically verifiable truths when it comes to the body’s natural circadian rhythms.

Experiencing direct sunlight in the morning works wonders for waking your body up.

Being on screens right before bed is detrimental towards sleep.

Also be aware of the myth that weed is good for sleep.

Weed is terrible for sleep.

It inhibits REM sleep, which is what you actually need to feel replenished in the morning.

So even though you may sleep longer hours, you aren’t actually well rested.

Notice how you feel tired and groggy the morning after smoking weed.

In addition, become aware of how you feel after eating.

For me, I usually have lower energy and am less cognitively sharp for about an hour after having a larger meal, so I steer clear of any deep work after eating.

Of course it depends on what is eaten though.

Allow this point to be an invitation to become more aware of how your body operates, and from this awareness, create a routine that honors your natural rhythms.

Honoring your body’s natural rhythms helps you “do the basics” more effectively and efficiently.

Ever since I made this switch to honoring my rhythms (started at the beginning of 2024), it feels more and more like the universe is carrying me to the life of my highest excitement.

4. Optimize Dopamine Levels in the Brain

Dopamine is the neurochemical that is largely responsible for our motivation in reward-seeking behavior.

Having optimal levels of dopamine in the brain is crucial in experiencing the excitement and motivation necessary to carry out your life purpose and infinite vision.

If you have low dopamine, you won’t feel motivated, and so reaching your goals and the life of your highest excitement will feel like a grind.

By having a sense of purpose, having the basics on lock, and having a routine that honors your natural rhythms, you are already doing a great deal to optimize dopamine in the brain.

But there is more that needs to be said about this point.

At the beginning of Dr. Anne Lembke’s best-selling book, Dopamine Nation, she writes:

“We’ve transformed the world from a place of scarcity to a place of overwhelming abundance: Drugs, food, news, gambling, shopping, gaming, texting, sexting, Facebooking, Instagramming, Youtubing, tweeting…the increased numbers, variety, and potency of highly rewarding stimuli today is staggering. The smartphone is the modern hypodermic needle, delivering digital dopamine 24/7 for a wired generation. If you haven’t met your drug of choice yet, it’s coming soon.”

In short, our brains have not had the chance to adapt to our species’ rapid technological advancement.

Our dopamine circuitry is still designed to inhabit a scarce world, where we had to hunt and gather in order to survive.

Now that we are in a world of abundance, there are perceived “rewards” around every physical and digital corner.

This dopamine economy is very overstimulating on the brain, making it incredibly easy to overindulge in activities that spike dopamine.

From reading this book, I got the message that the goal is to have an as high baseline level of dopamine as possible.

The higher your baseline level of dopamine, the more motivated, excited, and overall zest towards life you will have.

If you overindulge in high-dopamine activities such as porn, drugs, junk food, social media scrolling, etc., you will be left in a dopamine deficient state after experiencing an initial high spike from engaging in these activities.

And if you consistently do these activities (which most people do), your baseline level of dopamine will be lower, and so you will feel less motivated, and so there will be more resistance between you and your goals.

Given this knowledge, I like to make it my goal of having lower highs and higher lows.

Previously in my life, I would always seek the high highs, which always resulted in low lows.

This left me in a constant state of seeking something “more” or “greater” in my life, leaving me very unsatisfied with the present moment.

While I will have a more detailed post on dopamine in the future, take this key message away:

“The relentless pursuit of pleasure always leads to pain.” - Dr. Anne Lembke

Be aware of how much you indulge in pleasure, and know that the more hedonistic you become, the more resistance you will experience between you and your goals.

5. Take an Inventory of Your Beliefs

Now let’s shift from the physical plane into the mental plane.

Remember, the goal here is to align with the flow of life, so that life stops feeling like a grind.

The past three points were about loosening physical resistance, but an enormous amount of resistance that prevents you from aligning with the flow of life exists in the mind.

Us humans are meaning-making creatures.

Meaning is something we project onto ourselves and the world so as to give ourselves a distinct identity, and to evoke ourselves with a sense of purpose so that we are motivated to do the things we find worthwhile.

One way the domain of meaning operates is through beliefs.

And a belief is a hunch about what is true.

But notice that a belief is not actually the truth.

A belief is just a hunch, and it is used to fill in the gap of not-knowing something.
Us humans are quick to fill in this gap of not-knowing because we are biased towards our own survival and thriving.

And so, we will wind up believing whatever best suits this agenda.

Because of this fundamental bias, it is important not to draw any hard truth claims about the scripts and narratives we tell ourselves about life.

I invite you to consider that what governs virtually all of your experience of being human is an enormous net of beliefs.

As an exercise, pull out a journal or open a document on your computer and write down every belief that you have.

There will be hundreds, likely even thousands of them.

Even write down the notions that you might commonly take as truth.

Write down things such as:

I am human
I am [insert name]
I evolved through billions of years of evolution

Because what if you aren’t human? What if you are just God imagining yourself to be a human? What if you are the only conscious being in existence and the entire world is a projection of your Infinite Mind?

I am not saying any of this is true, but I make this point to emphasize that if there is any question that you can possibly insert into the statement that would make you doubt it, then it is a belief, and not a hard truth.

As you do this exercise, you will find that beliefs govern virtually your entire experience.

Once you have your list of beliefs written down (always be sure to add to the list when you uncover a new belief), highlight the ones that cause you the most pain and suffering in your life.

Your identification with these highlighted beliefs are the ones that are causing you the most resistance, making life feel like a grind, and preventing you from aligning with the flow of life.

Some common beliefs that cause people suffering are:

I am ugly
I am worthless
I am incapable
I am inadequate
I am not enough

Generated by Claude Opus AI, here are 25 culturally-conditioned beliefs that can commonly cause people suffering:

Side note: Using AI can be immensely beneficial in this contemplation. Simply ask the AI to generate your commonly held beliefs. If they govern your experience, add them to the list of your personal beliefs.

Now that these beliefs are in the light of awareness, the real work can begin.

But before we begin with that, allow me to just remind you again the fundamental belief we are transcending with this post:

“I need to work hard, struggle, and grind in order to be happy, reach my goals, and live the life of my dreams.”

6. Shadow Work

The beliefs that are causing us resistance, preventing us from aligning with the flow of life, are typically deeply tied to our Shadow.

The Shadow is a term coined by psychologist Carl Jung to describe the subconscious aspect of the psyche that contains all the repressed aspects of ourselves, which are typically qualities that we deemed unacceptable to display in order to physically and socially survive in the world.

We cannot blame the Shadow for this, because the Shadow is only serving its function.

And the function of the Shadow is to protect us and keep us safe.

If we did not have the ability to repress, certain life situations would simply be too overwhelming and painful to deal with.

For example, if a child grew up in a household in which anger was not tolerated, naturally the child has to repress that anger in order to survive within that environment.

Later on down the road, the child may experience bursts of their repressed anger, and to healthily integrate this aspect of their psyche into their experience, they will have to do some Shadow work.

Some Shadow Work practices you can try are:

Stream of consciousness journaling - allow your mind to express itself unfiltered, inevitably the shadow is going to surface. Let it surface and come through purely.
Shadow dialogue journaling - have a back and forth conversation between “you” and your “shadow.” Seek to understand it, not hate it or deny it.
Exploring your triggers - when you find yourself getting triggered or reactive by something, ask yourself why this may be, and explore it to the root.
Dream analysis - The shadow always appears in dreams. Keep a dream journal and write it down first thing in the morning (or else you will forget it).

These are just a few methods to try, there are several more you can explore.

But the whole point of shadow work is to see, understand, accept, and embrace these repressed parts of yourself.

Compassion is a requirement for healthily integrating the Shadow.

Without compassion, you will just end up denying and repressing your Shadow away again.

And the only way to have compassion for your Shadow is to understand it.

When you fully understand your shadow, you will see that it was just a mechanism to keep you safe and secure.

It is unlikely that a Shadow element will be healed in one specific moment (this does happen in some instances to people).

But in my experience, the more deeply ingrained Shadow aspects will surface numerous times, and each time it comes up, a loving, compassionate, witness consciousness is needed in order to integrate it.

And as you keep doing this, the Shadow aspect will dissolve and you will no longer be unconsciously ruled by this part of your psyche anymore!

With this, the resistance loosens more and more, you will find life feeling less like a grind, and more life an effortless flow!

7. Mindfulness Practice

Not only will a mindfulness practice help you integrate the Shadow, it will help you in literally every area of life.

The act of being mindful is the act of being attuned to and aware of the present moment, without judgment.

You can intuit how this would help with Shadow work.

When it comes to aligning with the flow of life, mindfulness is so essential because so much of the resistance responsible for the feeling of life being a grind comes about due to excessive judgment, fixation, and desire on outcome.

Our ego yearns so strongly to be in the future, that the present moment is not appreciated for what it is.

With mindfulness, we fully attune our awareness into the present.

Just like the muscles of the physical body, mindfulness is something that can be trained through consistent practice.

Some mindfulness practices you can try:

Sitting meditation
Body scan meditation
Breathwork
Movement practices such as Tai Chi and Qi Gong
Gratitude practices
Slow walks in Nature

And many more.

Through building the muscle of mindfulness, you will find yourself more aware, accepting, and appreciative of the present moment, and very well may have insights that radically alter your life for the better.

Conjure up in your mind the archetype of a Buddhist monk.

You can think of these types of people as like the body-builders of mindfulness.

They meditate for several hours a day, are completely attuned to the present moment, and as a result they have an extremely calm, peaceful, and compassionate aura.

These are the types of people who are completely aligned with the flow of life.

With consistent mindfulness practice, you can also cultivate these qualities within you, and you can do so without compensating your purpose and future vision.

8. Cultivate Relationships that Align With the Flow of Your Life

Your relationships should be ones in which you are mutually gifting each other along your unique life journeys.

Relationships should not be something that makes life feel more like a grind.

Of course, there will be moments of difficulty in relationships. That’s normal and natural.

But generally speaking, the relationships you choose to have in your life are ones that support and foster the growth of both parties.

Sometimes you will have to make the difficult decision of distancing or cutting out relationships that are no longer serving you.

I broke up with my girlfriend of 2+ years at the beginning of this year.

It was one of the most difficult decisions I ever made in my life, but I felt in my heart that the relationship was no longer in alignment with my life, and so I finally worked up the courage to end it.

I have also grown apart and fallen out of touch with numerous friends along this spiritual journey, while creating new friendships that are more in alignment with my authentic self.

As long as you are staying true to yourself and are expressing your authentic energy to the world, you will naturally find people on a similar wavelength, and bond with them.

Of course, radiating this authentic energy is easier said than done, which is why knowing who you are, where you came from, and where you are going (Life Purpose and Infinite Vision) is so important.

Get clear on Who You Are, and then you will find people who are similar.

Don’t forget the power of the Internet in finding people either, some of my closest friends I met online.

9. Trusting the Heart

I save one of the most essential points for last.

And that is to trust your intuition, the calling of your heart, and ultimately what you feel is “right.”

This feeling is precisely the flow of life moving through you.

If you do not trust your heart, you do not trust God.

And without trust in God, Life, Source, the One, the Universe, Brahman, whatever you want to call this divine essence, you are regulated to the logic of your ego, which is always defending against the fear of its death.

The logic of the ego is always finite, contracted, defensive, selfish, and hyperanalytical.

The logic of God is selfless, expansive, and requires no rational explanation or reasoning.

The calling of your heart arises from a subtle, peaceful knowing.

It comes from a place of love, expansion, and knowing you are complete (wholeness).

It aligns with and is directed towards your deepest values and most authentic callings in life.

It’s usually what feels “right.”

Intuitive insights are almost always spontaneous, direct, and come without effort, whereas egoic reasoning is obsessive, repetitive, and can become draining in excess.

For life to stop feeling like a grind, it is essential that you discern between the two, and that you start choosing the heart more.

This doesn’t mean you do not listen to ego at all.

We are not trying to get rid of or “kill” the ego, we are just trying to have a more conscious and healthy relationship with it.

Each of these 9 points made in this post are points that I strive to live to the best of my ability.

I have found that missing even 1 of these points creates a lot of resistance, which makes life feel like a grind again.

In 2024, I have worked longer hours than ever, but none of it feels difficult, because I know it is what Life wants out of me.

When you have the entire universe backing you on your mission, everything will seem to happen on its own, in a sort of flowy, effortless way.

God is beckoning you towards wholeness, towards authenticity, and towards the Truth of Who You Are.

This is the direction the flow of life is going.

Will you align with it?

Or will you fight, resist, and grind against it?

The choice is yours.

With Love,

Wyeth

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